Monday, 22 April 2013

Saying hello to the world!

Well here I am at last, blogging would you believe! Not being a writer by nature and being presented with a virtual sheet of blank A4 is a bit daunting but here goes anyway.
I will start this very first blog with a thank you to my father without who's sperm i would not in fact be blogging at all, and of course a huge big up for my mothers womb (which my father says was "big up" after my fat head messed things up for him) also Sir Arthur Conan Doyle for sitting down one day and imagining a rather splendid chap called Sherlock.

I wasn't sure if my blog should be political, sociological or just about me, after careful thought and a thorough process of elimination it dawned on me that i know absolutely nothing about the aforementioned subjects and decided instead to just babble on inanely much as I do in real life.

In the news this week:
Edinburgh zoo panda's will not mate.
Best quote:
 "Who gives a fuck about panda's,wouldn't bother me if i never saw another fucking panda,even a panda wont fuck a panda, that's why there's no fucking panda's!"

Second best quote:
"What the fuck is wrong with male panda's, look at the females, they are half black half white, soft, thick, have big butts and can get 18 inches of bamboo in their mouths without gagging or spitting it out!"

I love the natural world but really male panda's only have themselves to blame, its almost as if they want to become extinct.Maybe the zoo should try beer goggles in the form of several gallons of Stella Artois laced with Viagra, that would put the stiffness back in his bamboo!

Ok so that's my first bit of bloggering,I hope this has given you a small taste of things to come.Please take the time to drop me a message or two otherwise frankly what is the point of writing this.
Im off to bed to teach my stuffed panda a thing or two about the birds and the bees

Nighty night X